SERENITY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Control

2011-05-10T12:38:00.000-07:00

According to the American Heritage Dictionary the definition of Control:

To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.
To adjust to a requirement; regulate.
To hold in restraint.
To reduce or prevent the spread of.

I love words. I love how you can take such a neutral thing, such as a string of letters, and add meaning to them. Ask 10 people what a word means and you are going to probably get 10 different answers.I was surprised when I looked up the word control. The definition seems so harsh and authoritative, two things that seems so outside of my character with others. But, the more I started thinking about it....the more perplexed I became. How can I be so kind and forgiving of others but hold such a stronghold on myself. Regulate is a good way to put it. To regulate something seems so in tune with what I did to my life up until this point.

I have been thinking a lot about control as of late. I feel like I am always trying to control my life to get a certain result and the more I try to control it the farther it seems I am from the goal I am seeking. I have really been working on giving up control and putting more stake in faith. The unknown is a very scary thing for me. I have never liked surprises. I am the girl that loves when you go to an event and there is a menu card sitting on the table next to the evenings agenda. I like to be in the know. It makes me feel safe and secure.

Although, the older I get it seems the less it is working for me. Actually, it never really worked for me, now that I think about it. I had my life plan at 12, I was an overachiever. I really thought I new what my life was going to look like. I have a distinct memory of when I was 12 years old. I told my mom I was going to live in hotel rooms and travel the world. I don't think my plan was that solidified because looking back I am not sure I knew the job or the source of income, but, hey, I had a head start on most 12 year old. I come from a family of college graduates. It is just part of the process. Somewhere between 12 and 18 I decided I was going to go to school to work in television, on air was my goal. It took me one lousy year until the age of 19 that I realized life doesn't always work out as you plan---I spent the next 15 years trying to convince the universe and myself otherwise. My parents were getting divorced and I was on the verge of transferring schools and the school I was transferring to did not have a journalism program. I got through the next 3 years miraculously and even managed to study abroad, but I am still in awe of how I graduated in 4 years. I remember spending so many waking hours trying to control my future. That is a lot of hard work and is exhausting and looking back on it, it did not really leave much room for other things. I had to get perfect grades because that led to a perfect job, which led to a perfect life.

I remember sitting in a Women's Studies class with a friend. It was my first C in college. I was a junior. I remember her looking at me and saying C's get degrees. It was at that moment that I realized by getting a C, my life did not really alter. I actually felt about the same I did the day before. It was my first of many lessons in the reality of "I am good enough" It became our little inside joke. To this day if I feel like something I did was only mediocre I chant that saying in my head and I remember that not every day, at every moment and in every instance am I going to be perfect. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Now, I get accolades every day. I have a drawer full of awards, Most Supportive, Ms. Congeniality, Homecoming Court, National Honor Society on and on. I mean, I won the Youth of the Year Award when I was 15 years old.....really that does not add any pressure to a girl's formative years. But, those things mean so little to me. I don't like being singled out. I look back and some of those things actually just feel like the constellation prize. "You are good....but not really that good" Back to controlling my life. Since you really are not that good....you have to step it up a notch or two or three (I like to challenge myself) Only the really good are deserving right? Poor girl. I thought that for way too many years. Actually, I still have plenty of those moments. The funny thing is I have not won an award in a long time and at 32 years old I have no idea how the rest of my life is going to unfold, but I am excited. I am looking forward to the unknown. I have a very good idea of how I would like it to look, but I am trying not to control that. I am trying to be authentic and genuine with the most important thing in my life me.

“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

Strength

2011-05-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in the muscles and the immature mind."

The world is filled with beauty if you take a moment to look.

Rising Above Thought

2011-05-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you have more thoughts in your mind then you can keep up with? I call it a busy mind.

As you listen to your thoughts, you feel a conscious presence—your deeper self—behind or underneath the thought, as it were. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking.

Try a little experiment: Close your eyes and say to yourself, “I wonder what my next thought is going to be.” Then become very alert and wait for the next thought. Be like a cat watching a mouse hole. What thought is going to come out of the mouse hole? Try it now.
When you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought. A new dimension of consciousness has come in!
Let your mantra for today be:
I AM monitoring my thoughts and changing up to think good ones, no matter what is going on...And So It Is!!!

Lonliness

2011-04-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

According to the Webster dictionary:

Definition of LONELY

1. a : being without company : lone b : cut off from others : solitary

2. not frequented by human beings : desolate

3. sad from being alone : lonesome

4. producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

How is it that a person can feel so lonely, even in the company of others? According to Webster you would have to be without the company of others to be lonely. But, I know many people who would argue that point with conviction. I am one of them. I am surrounded by people almost every single day. I have friends and family and I network and have colleagues and acquaintances and I live in an area where all I have to do is walk outside to be surrounded by people. But, I can count on one hand how many people in my life, when in my presence, I do not feel alone. It is amazing how lonely we can be in the presence of others. You can be lonely in relationships, lonely amongst friends and just plain lonely.

Think about it. What causes that loneliness? In a society filled with self help books and courses on finding your inner self, some might argue that once a person finds their inner self, loneliness is no longer an issue. There are even how to guides on overcoming loneliness. In doing research on the subject I came across many varied answers. Some experts say, it doesn't exist...others maintain there is a difference between "physical" loneliness and "emotional" loneliness.

We currently live in a society where friends have become nothing more then screen names, where text, Facebook and e-mail are the only means of communication with them. We can go months without having any physical or verbal interaction with our friends or loved one. Research indicates that 20 percent of all people — 60 million in the United States alone — say they feel lonely at any given moment. That is a lot of lonely people surrounded by each other.

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2011-04-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

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Earth Day

2011-04-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

With the onset of Earth Day and the celebration of the place we live, we should remember that as individuals, we too, are part of the earth's makeup. It is important that we take care of ourselves, just as we take care of the earth.

In 1970 Earth Day began. The day was a way of promoting personal responsibility to take care of the environment. It is amazing how Americans need a day dedicated before they can take personal responsibility, otherwise we assume it is the responsibility of others. What if we declared a Human Being Day? It is amazing how we go through life looking at ways to improve others and the environment around us and often times we are the last ones we take care of. Today, in honor of Earth Day, honor yourself and while you are doing something good for the earth, do something good for you.

Health and Wellness have become the new buzz words over the last 5-10 years. Every decade or so, we come up with new words to describe the same issue. The issues never seem to go away, we just describe them differently. In today's world of chaos most people are struggling to find balance. We live in an industry of magic potions and pills, 15 minutes of fame and blaming others and external environments for all the faults in our lives. We never want (or have as we tell ourselves) even a few moments to just sit and be. We do everything on the run, we make time for nothing, yet we do everything.

We continuously chase dreams and magic indicators of happiness. According to a Pew Research Center survey, only 34 percent of U.S. adults say they are very happy. The survey found that income and status were not important indicators of happiness and that CEOs were not as happy as the people who worked for them. Yet, we keep chasing the American dream. Studies have found that the people who rate themselves as happy report that they have passion in their lives. Passion is different for everyone. We need to stop looking externally for people to tell us what our passions are.

As individuals, we do not even know who we are because we have fallen victim to a society where happiness is plastered on billboards, television, radio, on-line, advertisements and products and often has a monetary or beauty value that was established by people we don't even know. How is it that people that do not even know us can dictate what makes us happy. Yet, we fall for it every time. I know because I have fallen for it time and time again. I have watched my friends and family fall for it. I have said on many occasions in my life, "I would be happy if...." I spent many waking hours trying to validate and make others happy and then fall asleep sad and exhausted and completely unfulfilled. I have always had a passion for health and wellness and I could rattle off a lot of facts and figures, but I was not exactly living in balance.

When I decided to make a career of being a Health and Wellness Consultant the first thing I did was make a commitment to myself to determine what makes me happy and then slowly start living that life. It has been a journey. And, I encourage anyone who wants to take the journey to follow my lead. It is not easy and everyday I have to be mindful of forward movement. I have great days and not so great days in the process, no one seems to tell you that not so great days are going to be part of the journey. Americans really like the quick fix and we still continue to try and convince ourselves that there is one. Creating balance is a process, a lifestyle. It is not a quick fix. It did not take long for me to create balance and with that very good things have occurred. I have a happy life.

There is always a movement in America. We like to move forward and be the biggest and the best. We see ourselves as frontrunners. In the 1990's The United Nations dubbed stress the "20th Century Disease" And, now health and wellness is a big market. There are many people who are looking to capitalize, but not many people actually living a balanced lifestyle. Major companies offer wellness programs and incentives for people who take care of their health. About 80% to 90% of large U.S. corporations offer some sort of wellness program, according to the Wellness Councils of America, a coalition representing 3,000 corporate wellness programs. Such programs may include health risk assessments, screenings, weight-loss and smoking cessation programs, nutrition counseling, exercise classes and discounts on health memberships. Many of these programs are great, but we still are not looking at them as a way to incorporate lifestyle change. We still are not taking personal responsibility for creating balance in our lives.

Let me tell you a secret: No one else can make you balanced.....there is nothing magic about it. It has to start with you, but before you can see results you have to think about what really makes you happy. This is not as easy as it sounds. There are a lot of layers that one must get through. We are clouded by what people told us we wanted, what we learned we should want, on and on. If you do nothing more today then sit down and think about what you really want your life to look like....and I mean really, then that is more then most people are doing. Balance starts internally.

Fly

2011-04-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”

Today: Take a leap of faith on one thing in your life and know that someone or something will catch you, but you just might surprise yourself and fly on your own.

FOLLOW ME

2011-04-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

Please help Serenity gain exposure by becoming a FOLLOWER of my blog. It does not cost anything but a few seconds of your time. Go to FOLLOW on the right bottom half of this page and click! That is it.

Please help me PAY IT FORWARD if you like what you read!

Thank You,

Shannon

The Little Gestures

2011-04-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

The most awesome guy in my life called me last night and left a voice message. When I called him back, he told me to not listen to the message until I was tucked into bed ready to go to sleep, because it is the last thing he wanted me to hear. I did exactly as he said. At 10pm last night I played the funniest message (several times) and was laughing out loud uncontrollably. I went to bed very happy. This morning I called him and he asked me if my not so good day ended on a happy note! YES IT DID.

Today: Do something small for someone. You have no idea just how greatly it may touch them!

Planting Seeds

2011-04-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

It's like everyone's given seeds that are capable of growing
into the garden of their dreams, but no one's been told they
even have them. Then, when they see their neighbor's garden
growing, whether it's because their neighbor actually found their
seeds or accidentally spilled them, there's a rush to see what's
happening. In fact, whole industries are built around the buying,
selling, and trading of other people's gardens. Agents are hired,
sales teams assembled, and sometimes stocks and bonds are
issued. Vendors compete, lawyers are hired, and accountants are
sued. There are mergers and acquisitions, buyouts and takeovers,
and of course 401k's, company picnics, and vacation days.

There are seeds that grow into private gardens. Seeds that grow
into best sellers. And seeds that grow into happy families.

It's quite a riot, and often good fun, but, would you believe that
one of the biggest impediments one has to discovering their own
seeds, these days, is their fascination with the gardens of others?

Today: Think about that!

Remember....

2011-04-07T10:18:00.000-07:00

Remember when, as a child, just the sight of a
swing set, or a pony, or a hula-hoop,
would get your heart racing and your
imagination somersaulting?

And without even thinking in words you felt
that surely the world revolved around you,
that you were the most blessed creature ever to
live, and that having fun was all that really mattered?

Today allow yourself to do some childlike fun!

Be Yourself

2011-04-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

No matter where you go in time and space,
you only ever have to be yourself -
as courageous, vulnerable, bold, or
afraid as you may feel - to find yourself amongst friends.

Today: Try being mindful of just being yourself!

New Start

2011-04-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Everyday is a new start to creating something incredible!

Today: Create something new in your life. It could be as simple as taking a new route to work or eating breakfast for dinner. Mix it up....that is the start to change!

Integrity

2011-04-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

If I could catch a rainbow,
I would do it just for you.
And, share with you its beauty
On the days your feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain,
You could call your very ownl
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles,
I would toss them in the sea.
But, all those things I am finding
Are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain,
Or catch a rainbow fair
But I let me be what I know best,
A person with integrity.

Getting Involved

2011-04-04T07:47:00.000-07:00

"When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But, when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better in the world."

TODAY do one thing to get involved in something. It can be the tiniest gesture to someone else, a smile, a hello, etc. or it can be signing up for something you have really wanted to do or giving a helping hand to someone. You decide, every act counts!

Making Mistakes

2011-04-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

What do you first do when you learn to ride a bike? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can- and some of them many times over - what do you find? That all of the sudden you can ride a bike. It just seems to happen. Well - life is just the same as learning to ride a bike! You fall, you get back on, you fall, you get back on and so on.

Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live!
TODAY me mindful of your mistakes and remember they are part of the process. Everyone makes them.

My Journey Continued

2011-04-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

After I realized I had a story, I played it over and over in my head; and as I did memories started to come back that added much depth to it and explained a lot of who I was. I can remember very early on in my life when I first started creating what became my story and I started seeing the formulation of what became my personality traits. It was not too long ago that I realized I was the witty, giving, always working harder then anyone else girl.

One of the earliest memories I have was when I was six years old and I created a hand turkey, the kind where you trace your hand on a piece of paper and decorate the fingers to look like the feather of the turkey. I remember creating one every year in school around Thanksgiving time and I distinctly remember drawing the veins of the feathers and putting the little dashes off the long lines I drew down each finger, alternating colors out of my crayon box as I went. My crayons always had to be sharpened and if I went out of the lines I had to start over. A lot went into those hand turkeys. The one when I was six years old is so vivid. I remember that it was for a contest and so I worked very hard on making it perfect. Each feather was in succession of the colors of the rainbow, starting with red then orange then yellow and so on. I can still see that turkey in all its glory on the piece of white construction paper; bright and colorful, standing in the tufts of colored green grass with big fluffy blue clouds in the sky under a big yellow sun with alternating yellow and orange rays. My mother liked to freshen up our projects and bring them to the next level and this one was no different.

This is where my story begins. As a six year old, life was perfect and I thought I was the grandest artist that ever lived. My mother new better. She was experienced and new what I was up against. There are a lot of creative six year old children and she wanted the best for me. She wanted me to win. She wanted me to feel the excitement and accomplishment of being the winner. So, with a lot of glitter, that was my mother's secret weapon, glitter always made everything look better, she freshened up my turkey. She also added some adult flair and color and made that turkey look like a star. And, of course, I won first place.

I still have that turkey. It sits in a bin in the basement at my father's house in a file folder my mother separated by grade with all my other childhood winning projects. It is faded with age, but the first place ribbon is still attached. It was at that moment I realized I was not good enough on my own. That was my story. It is not right or wrong, but it was mine and over the next 25 years I made it my own. I lived it. I became very good at it. I would spend hours as a child rewriting assignments so they looked perfect, no wonder why I was always complemented on my penmanship, I had a lot of practice. I would go through an entire coloring book in an evening, flipping to the next page every time I made a mistake or colored outside the lines. That is where my story began.

Create

2011-04-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

"Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things."

Each day is the beginning of new canvas that allows you to create your own masterpiece.

GO CREATE!

SMILE!

2011-04-02T08:48:00.001-07:00

At all times and in all places, always be the first to smile.

Smiling is one of the easiest things to do and we often have no idea how it can affect people when they need it most, us included! Happy Empowerment!

Pay it Forward!

2011-04-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

Today do one thing to pay it forward to someone else! Yesterday I was standing in line at Starbucks and a woman in front of me and I were talking casually.....when it was my turn to order she handed the clerk a dollar and told her to put it towards my drink! PAY IT FORWARD!

My Journey begins....

2011-04-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

As a therapist, I always used to say everyone has a story. It became my mantra. It is how I explained people's behaviors and actions. It was not until I started empowering myself that I started to realize that I had one of my own. It took me a long time to realize that it was good enough to share with the world. As a therapist working in community mental health and with at risk youth I heard many stories of survival and resilience. I was just a white girl that grew up privileged in the suburbs of Illinois and attended Catholic school. But, the older I became and the more the adult world wasn't working in my favor I started to realize I had a really good story, one of passion and strength and perseverance. It is in this blog that I am going to share that story.

Believe

2011-03-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

The more vivid the image of your desired goal is in your mind, the greater the forces of attraction work to manifest it.

Endorse!

2011-03-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

To believe in yourself...to believe that you can accomplish anything is very hard to do. To want is easy, to believe you can achieve it, not so easy.

So, how do you connect the want with the belief? We can achieve anything we put our minds to. The problem seems to lie for many people in the simple fact they can easily think of what they want and the end result, but it seems incomprehensible or hard to conceive the process of how to get it or the process seems to big to tackle. But, is we get into the habit of tackling small obstacles or achieving small successes we can inch our way towards the grand prize, and allow ourselves many smaller prizes along the way. There is something to be said about many small achievements.

It is important to endorse yourself everyday for even your most smallest efforts. To tell yourself "Good job self" getting in the habit of telling yourself good job for the smallest achievements makes a path for bigger achievements to follow.

Today think of one small thing you achieved since you woke up, it can be as small as not getting mad in traffic this morning, and savor that achievement. Think about that achievement as if there were a trophy for that achievement. That alone can change how you feel today.

BE PROUD OF YOURSELF IN THIS MOMENT.

Today is a NEW day!

2011-03-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

How many times do we wake up and say to ourselves today is a new day and then before we even get to the car our fresh start is long gone?

We find ourselves running late, worrying about the day, what we have to do today, tomorrow and even next week. Why is it so hard for us to live in the moment?

It seems like it is easy to live in the past or the future but then we often utter to ourselves I wish I could live in the moment. So, why don't we?

Take a few minutes.....5 minutes is all you need.....and sit in a quiet place (It can even be in your car before you get out to go on to the next task or at your desk or wherever) and really visualize the moment. What are the things you are thankful for? Think about how you feel physically....concentrate on your body. How do you feel emotionally. What is good about your day TODAY. All you need to worry about for 5 minutes is thinking about the here and now...think about the smells you smell, are you hot or cold? FOCUS on you. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but right now.....right this very second. At the end tell yourself that you are AMAZING and today is a great day. You have to say it to believe it and you have to believe it before it can happen.

I know what your thinking....that is so common sense? or how is 5 minutes going to make me feel better? You might be surprised.

Why is it that we want to change our whole world overnight yet it took many nights to get it this way? Why can't we be content with the smallest achievements? If you achieve 5 minutes of living in the here and now....that is 5 minutes more of living in the moment then you had before you started.

The great things in life never happen over night....they are a continuation of many small moments, many small acts and many small achievements.

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY!

TODAY I AM GOING TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT FOR 5 MINUTES
(Don't think about the past or future, but only now!)

A QUOTE TO PONDER...

2011-03-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

Someone really important to me sent me this quote today:

We must be before we can do,
and we can do only to the extent which we are,

and what we are depends upon what we think.
-Charles Hannel

THINK ABOUT IT!

Forward Movement!

2011-03-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today is a new day....we can only look forward. The only thing that we can count on is our dream. Dreams are amazing things because they can take us anywhere, they can be anything. But, sometimes things get in the way and all of the sudden bam! And you think to yourself, dream...what dream!

Today was one of those "I can't get out of bed mornings!" It took everything I had. Anxiety can be a horrible thing. Anyone that has experienced full on anxiety knows how paralyzing it can be. It can halt your world and consume you. Anxiety is like a perfect storm in my world. All the components have to be there and if all the stresses and triggers meet at just the right point, look out, because now you have all out anxiety. Sometimes it lasts only a few minutes and sometimes it lasts days.

And, for some reason no one ever seems to understand and it seems during it that everyone needs my time and energy. "Look people, I cannot give you my time and energy. It has nothing to do with you, I am just busy having an anxiety spell." So how do we "FIX" it. The magic word.....is there really a fix or just a better way to deal with things? I would like to say a fix is just a fancy word for band aid. It is liking taking an aspirin for the time being. But somehow it always comes back....maybe not tomorrow, but it will somehow find you when you least expect it.

Having anxiety is OK. Being overwhelmed is OK. Everyone experiences it. You have to allow yourself to go through it and know that it is going to end and when it does you can stand up, dust yourself off and focus back on your dream. But, instead of allowing ourselves to go through it I often find myself trying to tack on more stuff to overcompensate for having a rough day. That sounds like a great idea, set yourself up for more failure. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, but you know what, I am not perfect and that is OK. I am allowed to have bad days and that is OK and I don't have to do anything today but think of my dream and what looks like. I don't have to work on it or towards it. I am having a terrible, awful day and that is OK and today I need to imagine my dream and imagine that I have it now.

Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will feel better and tomorrow I will take on the world, but I just don't feel like it today and that is OK!

"Do one positive thing today that will make you feel better tomorrow"

WELCOME

2011-03-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Serenity -Mind, Body and Spirit!
I am starting this blog as a way to EMPOWER people EMPOWER themselves!

I think there has been a time in every person's life where they thought they really could benefit from a therapist or a health and wellness coach. But, lets face it...most of us don't have the money, especially in these trying times. Society doesn't make it easy for us. They tell us what we should look like, how we should think, the best kind of jobs to have, the best places to live, see, eat and go. With all that pressure it is no surprise we need a therapist/coach. Not to mention the time pressures and over scheduling. "We can do it! We can conquer all!" and then you wake up one morning thinking "I don't want to conquer anything today! I don't even want to get out of bed!" Thus, Serenity-Mind, Body and Spirit comes in, We need balance in our lives and most people spend most of their lives seeking it.

I hope this blog can be there as a helping hand all those "I don't want to get out of bed mornings!" Lets face it. If we don't take care of ourselves first how do we expect to take care of anyone or anything else. And who has hours to read all those self help books anyway? I get overwhelmed just thinking about them. I am going to give you one little bite at a time to take you through your journey to happiness.

So, welcome aboard on this journey to a happier and healthier you. It starts with a few mere minutes of your time everyday. Let's start creating the life you want to!

Think of a dream (It can be small or big) and write it down anywhere you will see it everyday. It starts with a dream. Think about that dream, not how you are going to get there, but think about what it looks like to you. Imagine yourself in that dream.

If you can't imagine your dream first how do you expect you are going to get there. Now go have a FABULOUS day and remember "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."- Eleanor Roosevelt